Rest Is Part of the Plan

“I try to find hope in struggle and resistance in small places as much as I can.”

— Danny Glover

Summer has a way of making it look like everyone is living their best life.

From vacations to weddings and family reunions, this is a great time to experience many moments of joy and celebrations.

But for many Black women, summer can also bring something less visible: emotional overload.

Longer days often mean fuller calendars. Heat can make us feel more irritable and fatigued. If you’re balancing work, caregiving, community commitments, or simply trying to keep up with life, it’s easy to convince yourself that you’ll rest later.

Bebe Moore Campbell National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month is a good reminder that your well-being isn’t something you earn after you’ve taken care of everyone else. It’s something you deserve right now.

One of the most powerful ways we care for ourselves is by letting other people care for us, too. There’s also science behind why connection matters so much. Researchers have found that oxytocin—sometimes called the “bonding hormone”—is released during moments of trust, closeness, and positive social interaction.

While everyone produces oxytocin, studies suggest women may be especially likely to respond to stress by seeking connection with others, a pattern described as “tend and befriend.” A phone call with someone who gets you, laughing until your stomach hurts, or sitting on a friend’s porch talking about nothing in particular can do more than lift your mood. Genuine connection helps calm the body’s stress response.

That doesn’t mean you have to be “on” socially all summer. In fact, meaningful connection often looks much quieter than social media would have us believe.

Maybe it’s checking in with the cousin who always reminds you who you are or letting a friend know you’re having a hard week instead of saying, “I’m fine.” Healing doesn’t always happen in isolation. Sometimes it happens in community.

Beyond leaning on your community, many grounding practices have deep roots in Black communities, even if we haven't always called them mental health tools. For example:

• Sitting on the porch after the sun goes down

• Listening to gospel, jazz, R&B, or the songs that remind you of home

• Tending a garden

• Walking before the heat sets in

• Fanning yourself while talking with neighbors

• Praying

• Journaling

• Stepping outside after a summer rain and taking a slow, deep breath

These aren’t small things. They’re ways of telling your nervous system, “I’m safe. I can slow down.”

This month, ask yourself a different question.

Not, “How much can I get done?” Instead ask, “What would help me feel more like myself today?”

The answer might be drinking more water before your second cup of coffee, leaving one evening free instead of filling every square on your calendar, or turning your phone over for an hour.

Remember: You can say no without explaining yourself—and also make time to laugh with people who let you exhale.

Mental health isn’t only about getting through difficult moments. It’s also about creating enough space for joy, rest, and connection before you reach your limit.

This July, remember that caring for yourself isn’t selfish or indulgent. It’s a way of honoring yourself and the people who love you.

You deserve support. You deserve rest. And you deserve a summer that doesn’t leave you feeling like you have to recover from it.

Your Sistas Through It All,
The Ladies of 1M4