Hey there! We just want to check in the day after Valentine’s Day…after the engagement posts, flowers, dinner reservations, or wine night with your girlfriends…
Or, you know, nothing at all, because it’s cold outside and ain’t nobody got time for all that.
This isn’t the “I’m fine” kind of check-in. It’s the real one. How’s your body and mind today? What would feel supportive right now?
If you’re a Black woman, chances are you’re holding more than you’re saying. You’re the one who remembers birthdays, checks on everybody, shows up early, stays late, and fills the gaps. At work. In your family. In your community.
Love, for you, often feels like labor. And slowing down can feel like letting someone down, even when that someone is you.
Here’s what we don’t say enough: Black women are expected to be everything, all at once, and praised for enduring the weight. We’re meant to be strong, dependable, and always available.
But love doesn’t only live in grand gestures or romantic partnerships. Love shows up in care, in community, in how we respond to one another when things get hard. And too often, we extend that love outward while running on empty ourselves.
Burnout doesn’t always look dramatic. Sometimes it looks like functioning or pushing through. Or like telling yourself you’ll rest later…after one more thing.
But rest isn’t something you earn by suffering first. Self-care isn’t selfish. And slowing down isn’t quitting. It’s listening.
At 1M4, we talk about crisis response because we know moments of distress don’t happen in isolation. They happen in bodies already carrying too much. Prevention matters, and so does community care. We need to make space to breathe before we reach the breaking point.
Love takes many forms. It looks like showing up for a friend. It looks like checking in on yourself. It looks like having the tools and the people to respond when someone is in a mental health crisis.
That’s why our 1M4 community matters. That’s why The Right Response exists: to help us move from panic to presence, from silence to support, and do so safely. This resource is here for you. Feel free to use it or pass it along to someone you care about.
This season, let love be expansive. Let it include rest, boundaries, and choosing yourself without guilt.
A few grounded ways to practice that care:
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Put your phone down for five minutes and do nothing.
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Let your favorite song play while you cook, shower, or drive.
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Say no without explaining.
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Choose one thing to do more slowly today.
If you feel like sharing, we’d love to hear from you in the comments: what’s one small way you’re choosing yourself today?
You deserve that ease. You don’t need to be anything or anyone for us. Just know your Sistas are here for you.
Your Sistas Through It All,
The Ladies of 1M4
“I try to make choices that match the very quiet voice inside myself.“
— Tracee Ellis Ross
A mental health tip for you!
Try this 3-minute reset: Put on a grounding song. Sit comfortably. Gently sway or rock side to side. No performance, just rhythm. Longer exhales than inhales. This kind of movement helps calm the nervous system and release built-up tension. When the song ends, notice what softened, even a little.
Spread Some Blessings!
The consequences of police violence extend far beyond the loss of life. For families affected, it’s the loss of income, the sacrifice of basic necessities, and the start of a high-cost legal fight. If you have the capacity, consider donating to 1M4. Proceeds help support impacted families and sustain the work of 1M4 toward ending police violence for good.
Sista Check-In │ February 19
Join the 1M4 circle for a relaxed virtual hangout! Put faces to names, show up as you are, and share what you need or want to build.
To ensure our community has the resources provided by 1M4 and are fully empowered to shield their immediate community from harm, our Founder will hold weekly office hours to answer any questions and walk members through our safety resources.
No registration required. Simply join 1M4 through the button below then tap into our online community at 12pm EST every Tuesday starting this week.
Got a pressing question? Reply here and we’ll answer you via email and first thing Tuesday at noon EST.
Ok so… we’re on TikTok now! Follow, engage, and rep 1M4 over there. We’re doing our best to reach the people.
Help some Sistas out!
You Got Your 1M4 Merch Yet?
Visit the 1M4 merch store to make sure you’re representing at court support, protests, or in line at your favorite coffee spot. We want to see YOU in your 1M4 gear. Every purchase goes directly to funding the work of 1M4 increasing access to safety and wellness.
